What is good hair?
The topic of ‘good hair’ is often debated within some communities. In my opinion, good hair is healthy hair. But in the eyes of society, ‘good hair’ is straight, sleek, and ‘easy to tame’ – apparently everything that afro hair is not.
Growing up, I was always made to feel as though straight hair was better than afro hair. Afro hair was ‘out of control’ and ‘difficult to tame’ apparently.
Back then, your hair defined you and your hair meant that you would be perceived in a certain way. To put it simply, straight or loosely curled hair meant ‘good hair’ and natural hair meant ‘bad hair’.
Because of this, I grew up seeing my hair as ‘bad’, ‘difficult’ and ‘problematic’. Before I entered secondary school, my hair was relaxed to make to straighter, ‘manageable’ and ‘suitable’ for a secondary school environment. I quit relaxing my hair a year later because it was damaging my hair and scalp, and the fuss, stress and unhappiness that comes with using a relaxer isn’t worth it.
Now, I absolutely hate relaxers, and I think they’re some of the worst products ever invented. They’re so damaging and full of dangerous chemicals, and even if they weren’t, I don’t care enough about having straight hair to use one.
I have type 4C was always made to feel guilty and ashamed for having afro hair. I had a lot of experiences with many people trying to scrutinise, criticise and police my hair and the protective styles I’d put it in. Sometimes, people would touch my hair without my consent, and some people would give their unsolicited opinions and ‘advice’ on what I ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ be doing with my own hair - which, quite frankly, was extremely rude and offensive. I interalised that horrible things people said about my afro hair and perceived it as a ‘flaw’ on my appearance, and somehow, I assumed that I was ‘wrong’ for simply existing in the world with my natural hair.
Eventually, when I hit my early twenties, I reached a point where I thought:
“Why can’t I do what I want with my hair? It’s MY hair! And there’s NOTHING wrong with my hair!”
I don’t like being told what to do.
I’ve reached a point in my life where I’ve accepted my hair for what it is and I embrace it. My afro hair is beautiful. My afro hair is soft, shiny and sleek. My afro hair is healthy. My afro hair is my ‘crown’ on my head, and I wear it with pride, esteem and happiness - and nothing and no-one will ever change that. There’s nothing ‘wrong’ with my appearance and I have the right to exist as I am in this world.
So, what is good hair?
Photo by Vitae London on Unsplash
Good hair is beautiful hair, regardless of type, texture and style.
My afro hair is good hair. My afro hair does not define or diminish my worth or value.
My afro hair is special and I treat it like a ‘crown’ on my head, but it’s not a reflection on who I am as a person.
There’s more to me than the hair on my head and there’s so much more to my life than the texture and style of my hair.
My character is much more important. That’s what defines me.