5 Assumptions Introverts Are Sick Of Hearing and Reading About
I am an introvert and I love it. I embraced it and I’m not ashamed of my trait.
But do you know what I really hate? Other people's stupid and problematic assumptions!
Honestly, it's hard enough living as an introvert in an extroverted world without other people's judgements and stereotypes.
Introversion is not something bad, and it's not something that needs fixing. Introversion isn't black and white, but introverts possess specific traits that are different from extroverts and ambiverts.
But despite this, I feel as though some people just don't get it. I've had to cut ties with so-called 'friends' and I've fallen out with most of the housemates and flatmates I've ever lived with because they simply couldn't be bothered to respect me for who I was. A lot of them would set out to 'fix' me, cross my boundaries and encroach on my time and space, instead of accepting me for who I was and giving me the space I needed.
As an introvert, I believe I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, but these assumptions are just so annoying…
1. We’re rude
No, we're not. We just like our own company and we don't feel the need to hang out with others 24/7. Deal with it.
2. We're socially-awkward
No, we're not. Some of us like to socialise but at the end of the day, we need to be able to recharge our batteries as well. I like to socialise during the day but by the evening I like to be in bed with a tablet in my hand, binge-watching reality TV shows and YouTube videos.
Also, we are selective with the people we socialise with. These days I'm very picky with who I hang around with. I can't hang out with loads of people, I can't hang out with toxic, lazy and unambitious people, and I only hang out with my wonderful friends because I love their company and we have a lot in common.
3. We're cold and standoffish
I get that some people might assume that I'm cold-hearted and standoffish because sometimes I can be very guarded and evasive. I don't open up to people I don't know unless I trust them (and that's rare) and because sometimes I just don't want to engage in a conversation. It's nothing personal, I'm not being horrible but I am not going to force myself to open up to people and talk when I don't want to - I don't owe anybody that.
Newsflash: if I am being cold, distant and standoffish with you then chances are it's because I really don't like you and I think you're an unkind person - you'll notice this eventually. If this is you, just move on with your life and get over it, I really don't owe you anything and I haven't got the time or energy to appease anybody.
4. We're reclusive
No word of a lie: introverts love solitude, and we like to keep ourselves to ourselves and do our own thing. Solitude means so much to me and I totally thrive in it. It's essential to my health and happiness and it helps me to be creative and self-reflective. After spending a big chunk of my life being isolated and alienated from various groups and being singled out, picked on, humiliated and backed into a corner whilst hanging out with certain groups of people, I've come to realise that I am better off on my own anyway. Sometimes it’s better to be alone than in bad company. Once again, it's nothing against you and we don't feel the need to hang out with people 24/7 - that would be a nightmare anyway! But we're not reclusive - we still have social lives.
5. We're shy
Not strictly true. I guess some of us are shy but some of us does not equal all of us. I was extremely shy, passive and timid as a child, teenager and in my early twenties, but I find I am not like that anymore unless I’m around people I don’t know.
Things about introverts that are true (from my perspective)
We love solitude
We love it! Honestly, we need solitude in order to function. Life gets a bit too much for me so I need to be able to retreat and spend time on my own in order to relax and regain a sense of self-consciousness. I also find that in my moments of solitude, I am more able to figure out who I am without feeling drowned out by dogma and outside influences, and I can refocus on what I truly want.
We overthink
Yes, I am so guilty of this! Introverts are very deep thinkers so we can't help it.
We are highly sensitive
Yep - that's me all over. Things get to me much more (than the average person) and cut me really deep. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am in tune with my thoughts, feelings and emotions.
We are easily drained by the world around us
Honestly, I can't always put my finger on this. Maybe it's because this world puts extroversion on a (very) high pedestal. Maybe it's because the world isn't always a nice place. Maybe it's because society demands so much of us. I just can't stand the rush-rush nature of things. So yes, we need to recharge because the world drains us.
We prefer deep conversations over small talk
I have absolutely no time for gossip, idle chit chat, toxic talk, one-sided dialogues and superficial conversations. I like to have in-depth conversations that are meaningful.
We write better than we speak
Yes, definitely! I find it so much easier to express myself through the power of words and phrases, but then again, that's because I was born to write. The pen is mightier than the sword.
Are you an introvert?
*Image credits: Ashley Ella Design/Ashley Creates Things